The Reality of Being Mary Jane

Like most women(and some men), I was tuned in last night to the season premiere of Being Mary Jane. I have always been one to stray away from the unnecessary dramatics in television/movies like reality shows and poorly written/acting that tend to portray African Americans in a negative light. So last year when my cousin was telling me about this show I was hesitant especially that it is on BET. Being that I loved Mara Brock Akil shows when they were on the CW and the fact Gabrielle Union is starring I gave it a try. I ultimately fell in love with the show because even though the scenarios Mary Jane was facing I couldn't relate to directly it was always feelings behind it all that had me like damn.. Plus the soundtrack to each episode you'll always find a hidden gem if you're into soul music and dig a dope ballad. This is how I found Stacy Barthe. Look her up you won't be disappointed.



Back to this premiere, I must say this episode hit way too close to home with the how Mary Jane acted and felt throughout the episode.  As successful women with careers and all our shit together, the older we get we begin to question why isn't love working out. I felt the downward spiral happening with Mary Jane because I lived that before. Just wanting to know "what's wrong with me?" Especially when I have done everything right and eventually over thinking myself into a crazy. So with this episode I want to share three realities most women hate but truly need to acknowledge.

1. Comparison is an illusion - As women we want perfection. Perfect Husband. Perfect Children. Perfect Career. Perfect Life. I know that is what I want. It isn't reality though. At times I've felt jealous of others relationships not realizing the toxicity it brought into mine and how people only show their surface. We all have issues and you don't want anyone else's.... promise. Accepting that reality was hard for me. Even in this fictional character of Mary Jane who is a strong, educated, smart woman still could not accept the fact that she is aging and doesn't have her husband and kids.  I loved the scene when Mary Jane admitted to Salli Richardson's character that she is jealous of her and wants her life. Salli told MJ that her life was far from perfect and how she didn't take a picture of the fight they had on the way to the party. MJ though was stuck in the illusion of  that perfect life that she couldn't see the truth. The reality of everything is nothing is perfect, no relationship is perfect, and comparing your life to anyone else's will only leave you looking as crazy as Mary Jane showed last night.

2. We will NEVER be good enough for a man that isn't ready - I don't care how many degrees you have, the homes you own, the car you drive, how stunning you look when you put on your heels and dress, or even how amazing your personality is. You will NEVER be enough for a man that isn't mentally ready to have you in his life. I don't know how many times I have heard "You're dope but...." Your're an amazing woman but....". It's completely nerve-wracking when you make the necessary steps in being a great woman, its recognized you're a great woman but that still falls short in love. Despite us being so amazing in everything else we do we forget we chose these men. Mary Jane pretty much has everything but love and it had everything to do with the men she chooses never being mentally ready for her.

Now here is the HARD one

3. We may NEVER be good enough but some other woman will  - By the end of this episode Mary Jane had to come to realization that she wasn't good enough to be the mother of David's child back when David wasn't "ready" but now this woman who came out of no where in terms of their relationship is fit to bear his child. Probably the biggest slap in the face was the fact David technically didn't have it all together because they weren't even married. This is where we get to the point when we wonder what is wrong with us. "He can do it for her but not for me" Another illusion comparison gives us. The good news, its not always our fault. Men want to have it all together before a family and that means having all things in order. Reality proves again that nothing will ever be in complete order but when he's mentally in order sometimes another woman comes in at that perfect time.

So much is gonna happen in our lives and it's probably best to take things for the reality it presents itself. Over thinking will make us crazy, wanting what we see someone else has will make us even crazier.Timing is also a bitch but its always the right time you just don't see the bigger picture yet.


Oh The Simplicity,

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