Are You Conscious Enough?

    Social media is one of those tools that is so powerful it can be constructive and destructive at the same time. Over the weekend I unfortunately came across a post that went viral bashing Kendrick Lamar and his newly engaged fiancé because she was of lighter skin.  I have no need to promote this ignorance so I won’t even link it but will address something that was said. This lost young lady questioned Kendrick’s consciousness because he chose not to marry a woman of darker skin. So stuck on the color of skin it was not taken into account that this was his high school sweetheart before all the fame or even that this is the woman he loves. This lost soul pretty much stated it is a black man’s duty to date women of darker skin and since he didn't abide by these rules he isn't a conscious black man. I wouldn't even take offense by these statements because like many in this world I understand she is very lost.

    Now I am not denying colorism, it is very real and does have a very negative effect especially on darker skin. It is one of those psychological tricks that was used especially in slavery that still has a major effect today. Divide and conquer at its best. Probably the most profound documentaries on  I have ever seen is “Dark Girls” by Bill Duke and D. Channsin Berry. This documentary is one I recommend everyone to watch because it really captures how devastating colorism is on our community. Then a few months ago they came out with a sequel “Light Girls”. Honestly, I was skeptical of what this documentary would encompass. As I was watching it, I had to check myself because my initial prejudice was this would be a bunch of lighter skinned women crying about their privilege not even realizing that they go through the same destruction on their self-esteem as well. We are all black. It really boiled down that the idea of beauty has always been “European” and it affects all of our self esteem, whether we are light, brown, or dark because we are not the standard.

    I consider myself brown skin, if you catch me in February when I haven’t seen the sun I am much lighter then I return to my golden brown skin when I see the sun. Just having this range of color I never had the self esteem issues with my skin tone but with another issue that plagues our community, hair. I remember being in middle school begging my mother to get me a relaxer because at the time my natural coarse hair wasn't accepted. Today you don’t understand how uplifting the natural hair movement is to me because as a whole we are accepting who we are naturally and not accepting just the European standard of beauty anymore. Especially raising a daughter, I am seeing the whole black consciousness rising and becoming more aware that it is alright to be us. This is just something I believe children need to see because I am not condemning the European standard of beauty but want all to realize there are so many other standards in beauty.

    Unfortunately, like the light skin vs dark skin issues, I see far too many judgmental ideals within the natural hair community as well. It seems to me that some people have to find a way to put someone down because that’s not how they do it.  It is amazing how this black consciousness is exploding, we have become so much more accepting of our natural selves but are so quick to judge another’s journey. If someone wants to get a relaxer or wear a Brazilian weave that is their choice and we forget that. One of my favorite people has the longest healthiest hair ever but you will always catch her with nothing short of a 24" weave because that is what she wants. Her self esteem is anything but high, she does not want to be white, and she can grow her own hair but people still tend to judge. Everyone is entitled to their own journey and choices.  I remember a point in time even when I stopped getting a relaxers probably 4-5 years ago I still walked into work with my hair flat ironed every day. It took something within myself to finally go in with the afros I rock today. No one other than myself could have brought me to this level of understanding of myself.  Whether you agree or disagree with someone elses choices they are the only one's that can figure it out for themselves.

    Like the young lady who had much to say about Kendrick Lamar so many are lost and confused with what being conscious is, or even being a conscious black. It is not a destination, you don’t just wake up one day have all the answers to the universe and become ultimately conscious. You will never have it all together where you are free to judge those who don’t. This is a journey in finding yourself and learning to let go of your ego and understanding your soul. The ego tells you that “I am better because _________” I am learning more that social media works this way in stroking the ego. It has this way of telling us this blueprint on how life should be lived. If we don't live this way we have failed life all together. I just laugh when certain topics appear because not one person is the same or even experience the world the same. When you truly understand yourself, you will have the wisdom to just show your way and let them find their truth themselves. At the end of the day all you can do is live, dress, look, wear your hair, date and marry who you want because this is your life and no one else. Just a small reminder,  when you have to call out anyone’s level of consciousness, you may not be as conscious as you think. 

Peace & Blessings,

Lauren