1) Sista /Homie:
2) friend
3) Acquaintance
(Titles to be discussed in a future post)
Among these categories there are a few factors that will place each person in their category. these factors are as follows: attraction, length of friendship, foundation of friendship.
Personally I'm for my significant other having friends of the opposite sex. I believe a relationship is formed from two complete individuals that come together as one. It is imperative that in a relationship a person have their own identity, a career, hobby and social life to help create this individuality. The flaw with that is that some people think having your own life is equivalent to living a double life, which breeds insecurity. I would be naive if I believed that all the men my significant other had as friends were Platonic, because most people will not admit it, platonic friendships are not always that. Your women may see her male friend as just a friend but the male friend may not. This is the main issue men have with their significant other, is the distrust for the male friend they think have ulterior motives. There is a saying; if your girlfriend doesn't have interest in the man, you do not have anything to worry about. My illogical friend @TheLaurenWay backs this statement so i need some clarity on the situation from her. My question to the ladies is: should a man worry if your friend is not Platonic towards you?
-@Abruptndemandin
Before I answer the question I must reiterate I am not the illogical one here. Hopeful Romantic….yup Conspiracy realist….sure, but illogical…never. I just say whatever I see going on whether you like it or not. Now to the question depending on your girl that’s how you determine if you should worry or not. You should know the type of woman you wifed (hopefully). The problem is too many relationships aren’t built on trust so many become insecure with who their partner interacts with. If you got a good woman even if the friend attempts anything she will shut him down because she sees only you. If you wifed the opposite then what do you think you will get? I personally don’t see a problem with opposite sex platonic friendships. I have a few very close male friends that are completely platonic. The key to maintaining those friendships and a relationship is just to be honest and address any insecurity. If my dude told me he seen something other than platonic friendship, I have problem addressing the issue and even letting the friendship go. I am just a firm believer that if we can’t all kick it together then that’s a red flag. Now I will admit I was naïve to the fact that certain guys seen more in me than friendship but those were lessons I had to learn. If you have a good girl you shouldn’t have to worry about her friend not being platonic. Now, the opposite scenario of a woman wanting a man in a relationship should be cut off completely because men are weak when it comes to sex. If a chick throws herself at my man just once I need that whole situation ended completely.
-@TheLaurenWay
See there she goes, just had to add the illogical woman bias, you made some valid points about trust, honesty and addressing insecurities. Now, where u reach is saying men are weak when it comes to sex, contrary to popular belief, every man is not (to use a term you like) "For Everybody". In the past year I can vouch for some good men in relationships that have turned down temptation because of the simple fact they love their women and would not want to do anything to hurt what they have going on. For example; there was a situation where Thirstiesha tried to set up a date with Tyrone, Tyrone politely escorted Thirstiesha back to the friendzone and informed her about his girlfriend. Thirstiesha was a woman Tyrone had slept with in the past and more than likely could have again. Men in relationships curve lusty women every day B and i think we should be given more credit and yall should get rid of the double standard that women are allowed to keep male friends that aren't Platonic.
-@Abruptndemandin
Most dudes are for everybody. Just kidding...but not really. There's just so much power in the pussy. Even though most dudes are for everybody there are a few good men they just don't allow the homewreakers in. The problem lies in: you tell Hoeisha "Naw, i have a girl" , one day but; the second your girl piss you off you're at happy hour together after work cause she's still accessible. Why continue to be around a "friend" or coworker unnecessarily that threw the box at you knowing you have a significant other? I'm not going to be around a dude that tried to get at me. I'll politely return him to my black hole of a friend zone. That lack of respect for your relationship is not a friend. My platonic friendships work out because everyone respects one another. It's usually the hardest on anyone new,because of this stigma that men and women can't just be friends. The older I'm getting I'm learning the value of friendships with someone that doesn't go through pms
-@TheLaurenWay
Most SINGLE men are for everybody*, and that's the problem. Yes, the pussy has power i.e http://m.worldstarhiphop.com/apple/video.php?v=wshh7HPG227R35G0F1eO , but thirst works both ways. The same platonic male friend that may have made a pass at you, you can easily invite him over to talk about relationship issues you have with your man and things can get out of hand. The bottom line about this type of friend is that for both genders, we see that friend as an option left open for our mate. Just as easily as a man can have sex with a girl he puts in the friendzone, so can a woman. For a woman to say don't worry about her having a male friend around who may want her, basically is interpreted as: leave me alone with my option, I choose not to use at the moment because you haven't messed up yet. Most importantly, it's not that your man doesn't trust you, it's that he doesn't trust the guy, why would we want our woman around a wolf in sheep clothing? I am a man that has been that wolf at one point and I am definitely not naive to these relationships. Men watch out for the #WorkHusbands , watch out for these friends that have no reasonable foundation for friendship with your woman, cause in a moment she can go from crying about you, to ending up in the arms of a dude she had around you. Fellas; you are going towns up in a Chris brown situation, your girl going to be taking trips to Canada chilling with Drake, I say; knock that Drake out!!!!! Diddy these fake friends so she knows it's real.
-@Abruptndemandin
Bottom line you can't control the outcome of anything or anyone. There's going to always be ain't shit people and people who see more than what a situation is. That's life! If two people are truly committed, no one else will matter. You did finally say something rational, most of our insecurities ignite in the distrust of the other party. And why should we trust them? Cause our partner who we trust, trusts them. I won't trust any of these hoes around my dude. But with the right communication, and time a respectable woman that is his friend I can learn to accept and he will learn to accept my friends. There's real value in SOMETIMES having an outside view with a trusted friend and the opposite sex will give you a perspective you may miss. Being in a relationship, worried; is unhealthy. All that does is tells the universe you're scared. Just trust that the universe's chain of events, whether good or bad, is leading you to what you #deserve.
-@TheLaurenWay
I hope this post has you thinking about the relationships you have in your life, please vote in our poll question, follow the conversation on twitter: @Abruptndemandin, @TheLaurenWay Thanks for reading and DON'T FORGET TO SHARE THIS ARTICLE
"An idea kept to self, is a wasted thought "
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