Understanding the Floor, to reach the Ceiling

  IMAGE (Risk vs. Reward)

Do you love your partner unconditionally? Suppose you found out a few of the things you least desire within your dating pet peeves, your partner posses? My concept is simple, search for the deep dark secrets,  evaluate if I can deal with the findings, and move forward.



     In my 28 years of life,  through my experiences and doing research on others; I have realized that what makes or breaks relationships is not the positive times but, the negative times. A individual has to know if he/she can push through the worst possible situation with their mate in order to preserve  the relationship. Relationships dissolve due to one or both partners finding something within the other that is a deal breaker. My question to the "daters " is,  why not find out the deal breakers early?.that could avoid wasted investment in time with someone you know you have no future with.
     I have been told I have a pessimistic view towards relationships because I am on a constant search for the negatives within my partner. In my opinion I am being realistic with myself in trying to find the difference maker that potentially can't hurt the bond that is being built. When I search it's for facts to make a life decision, when one buys a house they need to know the foundation is sturdy , one needs to know; will he/she be able to afford the repairs needed for the house. This concept is what I take into relationships. I need to know that at my partner's worst, that either I will be strong enough to pick up the slack, or the person is strong enough to come out the situation that is harming our situation.      Over the years I have listened to friends that discussed the problems they had with exes and they spoke of them as "Dealbreakers" and all I could think is why didn't you investigate properly so you would not be in your feelings about the person now. Where I would figure something out about a person in a few months, it took another years to discover because my friends were more focused on the good time. All in all, it may not have been a waste of time but, (i'm a strong believer that you can learn something from any acquaintance) in fact if you knew it was a deal breaker you would have made a decision about dating your partner earlier.
     It is easy to stick with your lover when you focus on the positive in the relationship,  that's probably the easiest thing to do. When a person is pursuing you and they catch you it's because they did the things that you like and appreciate. What people don't look into is the fact that relationships aren't a fairy-tale, there is not a "happily ever after". That concept is juvenile , there will be trying times within the relationship and one will need to know what are the deal breakers,  how does your mate deal with pressure?  What history does your partner have that can potentially harm your present and future,  what people in your partner's life are a threat to the relationship, does your partner make good financial decisions,  etc. These things are important.

  Our divorce rate is very high and I wonder if the people that got themselves into those situations took the time out to really sit back and think, can I love this person through thick and thin?
(Divorce factors ) The answer is probably ; no, if they prepared for the worst they could work out the situation.  People get caught up in the positive potential of the relationship,  (there isn't anything wrong with this),  the same way you evaluate the positive you should evaluate the negative to see if you can go the distance with this person. I don't intend on giving advice but more to give you another point of view.  My aim is to change the notion that preparing for the worst may be a pessimistic view on relationships.



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