Top 5 Things to Avoid After a Break-Up

This week's post is inspired by the messiness between Meek Mill and Nicki Minaj.

RF: Top 5 ways to keep your resolution.

@AbrupTnDemandiN



We are in the third week of the new year and its safe to say a lot of us aren't keeping up with the promise we made to ourselves to be better individuals for 2016. I'm not here to judge, more so; to give a few pointers in how to stay on path with your resolutions.

Here are my top 5 ways to keep your resolutions:


1) Speak it into existence
It is important to envision your self doing what you want to do. Basically, if you can believe it, you can achieve it. Tell yourself daily, hourly, etc. that you can achieve your goal. For example; if your goal for the new year is to lose weight, recite to yourself every morning, " I will be healthy". Quick and simple reminder that can help you make better decisions in health during the day.

RF: Savages: Nothing well about well done

Happy Ratchet Friday
@AbruptnDemandin

Are you a savage?

30 and Wise: The final countdown 10-1

Yeah I promised the final countdown on Sunday but I was a drunk of course and this would have just been horrible. I would have probably wrote "n words" aren't shit and alcohol is the devil.. Definitely would have told you love is for suckers.  Hungover me isn't wise. This may or may not have been my logic that morning.

Just playing I am awesome. Life just begun pretty much. :)

Before you give you the finale I would like to take the minute to give a shout out to Endi, @Abruptndemandin, on reaching 29 years young. Go on his page tell him Happy Birthday!!!  He's somehow over all these years became one of my favorite people despite always debating me and his his irrational logic. Maybe in his old age he will become more logical. That was my exact birthday wish.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ENDI!!!!  

If you have not yet please read the  life lessons 30-21 and 20-11.  Just Click the links.

And the final 10 begin.............

10. The Best Nights Are Usually Unplanned – I have celebrated 30 birthdays and most have been awesome but strangely enough those random nights out with my friends are some of the best nights I will forever remember. Again, Let go and just let life take you stop planning everything. The universe may surprise you. 

9. Do What Makes You Happy – This lesson I learned just recently. We are so caught up in pleasing our parents, friends, and everyone else that we forget to do what makes us happy. WE CANT PLEASE EVERYONE. This is your life and only you have to live with the results. The people that love us want what is best for us in their mind but what is best for you is what will make you happy.

8.  Balance is Key – Throughout most these life lessons I have posted, I hope you seen the balance in a few of the lessons. Too much of anything is never good. Balance your life out with everything that matters most. Don’t overwork or over play. Don’t neglect your friends for love or love for friends. With all dualities make sure your life is balanced out.

7. Every Ending is Just a New Beginning – Life is a giant cycle. Even in death it is not truly over. We see it with the moon and the seasons that everything will always come full circle again. Sometimes we are so caught up with the ending of summer that we miss out on the beauty of the leaves. We have to start appreciating that things will end but we should be ready for this new beginning. Simply move on before you miss out on a blessing.

6. Enjoy The Journey – We know we live in this deadline of a society that we really miss out on appreciating some major aspects on our way to success. Make a plan on how you will achieve that success. Look back and see how far you have come. Most importantly stop sometimes and celebrate where you are now. We will never relive some of these moments ever again so appreciate them now while you can truly revel in them.  One of the most amazing times of my life was college. I have the career and life now but that journey was just something I will always appreciate and miss.

5. Everything Can Change In The Blink Of An Eye – You just never know when the last time you will ever speak to someone or someone comes into your life and changes it forever. It is crazy how life works with its cycle of endings and beginnings so be prepared for the good and the bad. Tell people that you love you love them now never wait. Don’t hold grudges. Always prepare yourself because you just never know when everything will change.

4. Love is a Verb – If you hated English and grammar classes like I did I will refresh your memory. A verb is the part of speech that describes an action or occurrence or indicates a state of being. Love is just something you do, it’s not something you have to think about doing. Once you truly understand this you show the people you love by being love. Stop looking for love and just be it and watch who finds you.

3. Keep Learning – Even after I gave you these life lessons I hope to add a million more over the years. I will always keep a memory and will always read a book. Learning is what makes us great. Every single day learn something new. Even if it is a small fact you learned something.

2. LIFE WILL ALWAYS GO ON - Whatever happens life will go on. Just getting to this final lesson is a testament in itself. We all lost people we love, felt depression, had heartbreaks, and probably hit rock bottom but look at us now.  Life will go on if we give up or keep pushing through so why not make it through. We made it!!!!

The Ultimate Lesson I learned

1. God Laughs When You Tell Him Your Plans -  Make sure you have Plan A but also up to  Plan ZZZZZZZZZZZ. I am 30 now and I wouldn’t say life is getting easier but I understand now to keep pushing when my plans get rerouted. It’s crazy when I reflect back on how I wanted my life to be at 30 it is nothing as I envisioned it but I have everything want. We tend to want our plan to be exactly like this story we saw a child and then get disappointed when it doesn’t pan out exactly.  Or focus on what other people want for our lives. I am not this billionaire astronaut leaving Venus on my way back to earth anticipating the party my NBA husband is throwing in our mansion. However that 10 year old Lauren imagined this perfection that didn’t exist. My life is pretty dope because its real and it has a lot to do with the lessons I learned on the way. Shout out to the family that allowed me to grow, friends that seen decades of ups and downs, and everyone that just loved me ever in my 30 years.  Sometimes you just have to understand that our initial plans are not our ultimate plan for life. Love who you are now because all the detours made you this way. Most setbacks I looked back and understood exactly the path I needed to go. Hindsight really is 20/20 so lets's trust that our plans are not always the plan God wants for us. It's probably something grander.


Hope you enjoyed the lessons. Make Sure you wished Endi a Happy Birthday. We both accept gifts all month long. Check back for all the new posts we have stories to share.


Peace & Blessings,

Lauren
@thelaurenway

Almost 30 And Wise - Life Lessons 20-11

Today is my last day in my 20s!!!! I'm still accepting gifts all month. I know some of yall don't get paid until next week. I'm completing all my ain't shitness tonight so I can be wise in the morning.  If you haven't read Lessons 30-21 please check them out here first. Let’s the countdown continue with  20-11

20. Drink More Water – It’s really crazy that I have to tell anyone this. You're an adult drink water. Today’s world just does not focus on the health we need until it is too late. The older we get health is probably the most important element. Let’s exercise more, eat healthier, so in our old age we can just chill. You only have one body, exercise more, stop eating the junk and DRINK MORE WATER!!!

19. Make Your Only Competition...You  – Again this society has a way of making us compete but when you focus on being happier, healthier, wiser etc. than you were last year there is absolutely no way you can lose. The fact that I can say I am the best Lauren yet at the age 30, I feel like I am successful.

18. Trust the Timing of God -   Things will always happen exactly when they are supposed to and we won’t understand why it is happening. It isn’t until we get more pieces to the puzzle that we realize it was all working in our favor. Again allow whatever is being taken from you to go without resistance you just might be blessed with something great. Trust.

17. No one is perfect – That includes you. I do not understand this notion of perfection that we try and achieve. It’s ok because none of us are and none of us will ever be. None of us really know what we are doing anyway. Just like you are trying to guide through life the next person is probably struggling the same. Let’s end this idea of perfection and just embrace our uniqueness.

16. Let Go of Thinking Won’t Be Happy As Soon As You (insert whatever here) – You won’t finally be happy when you find a get in a relationship. You won’t finally be happy when you move. You won’t finally be happy when you lose weight. Happiness is something that happens now. So be happy now.

15. You cannot change people – The moment I started accepting people for who they are my relationships got better. This isn’t condoning bad/toxic behavior because as a friend we have to do everything to help but it is accepting we shouldn’t make someone into something they are not. Accept people exactly how they because that’s how God made them and only when they are truly ready to change they will.

14. Love People From a Distance, Sometimes – This ties into accepting people as they are. Sometimes we do face friends/relatives who just refuse to change. You cannot change them and sometimes their negative energy will most certainly affects yours negatively. This point you have to just remove them from your space and just love them from a distance. It does not mean you love them any less but you have to protect yourself first.

13. Remember Perception  – If you have a point in a circle and everyone sat on the circumference not one person would see that point the same. Not one. The people next to you will have the most similar view while the person farthest will see something completely different. If we all realize that all our lives play out like this and learn that sometimes perspectives will be different. We should learn to understand all these perspectives instead of bashing what we do not understand.

12. Watch What You Speak – Writing your intentions down is powerful but speaking them, even thinking them may be the most powerful manifestation ever. It is amazing how we speak so many things into existence and still speak negatively. Stop the negative thinking and talking and focus on what you want.

11. Find Your Passion and Don’t Stop – One of the most common misconceptions with finding your passion is the belief that you have to get paid for it. Trust me that is ideal but it can be just a hobby as well. Just do what you love whether you have to wake up to a 9-5 that has nothing to do with your passion. As long as you figure out why you are here and then do it till you die you lived a great life.

Be sure to check back tomorrow I'll be wise as shit. 


Lauren
@Thelaurenway

Almost 30 And Wise - Life Lessons 30-21

It’s my birthday weekend! I will be 30 in 2 days!! If you see me out this weekend  I accept all monetary gifts, gift cards, coconut oil, certified checks or a shot of anything except for Vodka. You can also hit me up for my account numbers to Verizon Fios and Wireless, Peoples Gas, and/or Duquesne Light. (I never understood why its so hard for utility companies to take payment from another person like you getting paid)

Anyways, Endi and I been on a hiatus because we were out enjoying our summer but we are back. I hope you had just as a dope summer as we had. The stories we have to share from this summer alone will be enough to forgive us for being missing. So Stay tuned.

We thought to kick off our blog return and to celebrate my 3 decades on this earth with my 30 life lessons. I 'm transitioning from this 29 year old ain't shit chick to 30 and wise. So over these next three days I will give you my life lessons, so please be sure to come back all weekend. And we are off......

30. You Don't Have To Attend Every Party You're Invited To– This small statement has multiple meanings. The obvious meaning is literal. Being popular really isn’t an achievement we should strive for. As long as you walk this earth there will always be a party to attend. Place your focus on other things. The not so obvious meaning is probably a bigger life lesson because we allow negative energy in when we shouldn’t. Pick your battles wisely.

29. Travel More- Another obvious statement. Some of my most memorable experiences were outside the country away from civilization.  Experiences will always trump material things.  You have money to eat out or buy new clothes/shoes then you have money to travel. Very few regret going to a new place just to explore. Oh, and let go of those party destinations too. They are great when you are young but there will always be Miami. The dopest trip I been on thus far was when I hiked the Grand Canyon and was not drunk in sight. Go see the world you won't regret it.

28. If You Don’t Ask, You Won’t Get – What do the kids say now? Shoot your shot… The worst that can happen is being told no. Oh I forgot my paypal is laurenglaze@hotmail.com if you want to send me any money electronically to celebrate my birthday.

27. Talk Less, Do More – This social media age has a tendency of making things appear more than what they are in reality. With that, talk has just became even cheaper. Show the world your results instead of telling them what you plan on doing. You will get more respect just by showing your success than telling.

26. Make New Friends - Probably the one thing I hate about this generation is how one catchy song can influence people’s thought processes. “No new friends” is a dumb idiotic statement. Life is about growth so we will always make new friends along the way if we are growing. Be open to always meeting someone new.

25.  You Are Not Alone – As an introvert it is easy to be a loner but the truth is we are not put on this earth to be alone. Ask someone for help, seek out friends. It makes zero sense to go through anything by yourself. There will always be someone even if it is a stranger. This works in another way too. Be kind when you meet people because you just never know what someone is going through.

24. Be Your Own Best Friend – As an introvert this was easy but I recognized extroverted people loathe alone time. Sometimes in this bustling world you need to just stop and listen to your mind. You can mediate or take yourself on a shopping spree. Take some time and focus on the most important person in your life. YOU!

23. Make Your Own Mistakes...BUT Learn From Others Too – Life is really the best teacher. Some mistakes you just have to learn for yourself but the older you get start paying attention to those older and wiser. Having a large circle of female friends every single one of us came across an ain't shit nig... man, and every single one of us had to learn ourselves. Now those chicks better know better. At this point everyone needs to get a mentor. Someone we can truly learn from at any age. 

22. Forgive, ALWAYS – Holding in any negative emotion in is deadly. Forgiveness is more for you than the other person. There is a great strength in letting things go. I am not saying to allow other to mistreat you but when you forgive you are releasing the negative someone put in your life. Oh ALWAYS REMEMBER! Forgive and forget my ass. That was a phrase they taught slaves to keep them in slavery. Remember what people do to you but you have to forgive because we all make mistakes. Forgive!

21. Write Down Your Goals – Over maybe the past 7-8 years I started to recognize how things manifested in my life. One simple way to control your manifestations is to write down what you want from the smallest to the largest then put it away. Again this is a part of the letting go process because we get anxious and that blocks our blessings. I look back at things I wrote in amazement because it eventually manifested without me worrying.

Well that’s all I have for you today come back tomorrow for my next 10. They are even better. In the meantime seriously write down something you want in life. Don't forget to if you see me I like money and Henny. I have bout two more nights to be ain't shit. 

Until Tomorrow....


Lauren
@thelaurenway

Ratchet Friday: Top 5 reasons you have to respect Drake

IG: Champagnepapi 

Ratchet Friday: Top 5 ways Love will F@#k you over

Author : @Abruptndemandin

Top 5 ways love will screw you over,  such a wonderful feeling can end up leaving you in shambles both emotionally and physically.

WO: Memorial Day weekend, Henny Palooza edition

Memorial Day weekend review of social events. Covering Henny Palooza and Club Aura. 

5,000 views appreciation

Just want to say thank you, we appreciate you all reading and will continue to bring dope content. Keep reading and don't forget to share our blog.


How about some eye candy to show our appreciation?


Beautiful Ladies :


Bernice: IG RealBerniceBurgos

Ratchet Friday: Coping with the side chick, the NBA playoffs.

The month is May and your boyfriend is paying you less attention,  your female intuition tells you he has interest in others and no longer wants you... No, this is not a Cuffing Season post. Madame,  it's the NBA playoffs. In today's post, I will give you the top 5 ways to cope with your boyfriend giving all his attention to basketball.

The answer to your worries is really simple and you have all the control. Chose to do one of two things to come out of this situation a happy and healthy girlfriend. The first option is; fully embrace the sport, be apart of what your man enjoys. The second choice is; completely ignore it and do your own thing; find something that interests you.

Weekend Observations: Eggs and Liquor edition

Welcome to another edition of weekend observations where I give reviews on events and locations I visit. This weekend I attended the "Eggs Over the Roc" brunch,  Brooklyn Tap House,  New Apollo , and Attic roof top.

Ratchet Friday: Splitting the Bill: Circle of friends edition

Happy Ratchet Friday,

Last week we discussed, splitting the bill with a large group. Today we will take a look into how to properly split a bill between a smaller, but, closer circle of friends.

The Debate: Perfect Person, Wrong Time Part 2

Perspective is a funny thing, that is why it’s great me and Endi have two completely different thought processes when we write. If you haven’t got a chance, please read Part 1 here Perfect Person, Wrong Time. The only thing I actually agree with is his description of  the (YOUR) perfect person then I call complete bullshit on the rest. Perfect is unrealistic though, so I want to use "right person". I honestly believe the right person for you is the one you need in your life. Knowing who you need is less about looks, class, money etc. it’s more about the love and balance as Endi described.  

The Debate: Perfect Person, Wrong Time Part 1

Perfect person?

Perfect person is your perfect compliment to your personality, lifestyle and situation. We tend to believe it has to do with what you want, it's more about what you need. As a child I wanted a Lamborghini, I'm 6'3 now, that's not what I need. Being in love with the idea of a person is completely different from being with that person; It is more important to find who compliments you. A perfect relationship is less about money,  looks, class, creed,  etc. A perfect relationship is solely about the love and balance one has with one another.

For example

Jay-z and Beyonce,  two successful and famous people , in a Jay-z song he describes wanting to start a family with Beyonce but she still in her prime of her career and he has to  "allow her, her time to serve".  he has to fall back on his family plans with her so that she can continue being the successful woman that she is. The whole second verse pretty much sums up the idea of this post. From what he infers it seems he had to let Beyonce go for awhile until the time was right for them to be together. Fortunately, they are together and eventually got to the family stage years down the line. I would really love to dissect the relationship from that point on. It seems like they separated and eventually, got to the right timing. The issue with this scenario is the money and fame, the average woman wouldn't give a regular guy the chance to get back with her after the moment he let go, a wasteful thing PRIDE is.

Weekend Observations: Mother's Day Weekend edition

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Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful "life givers" that we call Mothers.  I adore you women so much that all week I will be celebrating your efforts on Twitter.  Follow Me @AbruptnDemandin and @TheProfessor_JT (Read his blog) as we tweet #WomenAppreciationWeek or #WAW all week.

Ratchet Friday : Splitting the Bill, Big Group Edition

- Money
- Couth
- Common sense
- Tax
- Gratuity
- Class


What do all these words have in common? Things you should think about when going out as a big group, Unfortunately; They do not exist when it comes time to pay the bill. Have you ever heard the phrase "who ordered gratuity?". By far splitting a bill with a group of people is the most difficult thing to accomplish in urban society. At times; one will wonder has anyone ever been to a restaurant.

Has Social Media ruined our relationships Part 2

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If you haven't,  please read Part 1 
Lauren describes the difference in how we communicate today as compared to when social media wasn't as prevalent in our everyday life.

Weekend Observations : 5/1/2015

Happy Cinco De Mayo

A lowkey weekend for me,  I'm booked up for the rest of the month, I definitely will have some interesting reviews for you all later this month. If you need clarification on my rating scale please click here .

Entertainers Have Become The New Activists?

Check out the reaction post from Professor JT over at Johnturnerworld.blogspot.com

Warning: This post is written with logic and not emotion, if you are in your feelings and can not process logic, do not continue reading, but share this post with a logical person

Endi's Take:

These recent events have hit home to me. I consider Baltimore, Maryland my second home. I spent nearly  1/4 of my life in that city and to see what's going on it is bothersome to my soul.  Kudos to young people coming together to show their concern for the life of a man that was taken from him.  I love that even the most conflicting groups within urban culture can come together for a cause of justice and fair treatment  in the community.  I just wish that when "s#!t hits the fan" things can be resolved more organized. Social media has played a huge role in reporting factual events and images that news companies for what ever reason, misconstrue the facts behind reactive nature of the people taking a stand for what they believe in.


New found conscious

On social media, we have people that believe they are conscious and post ridiculous statements and believe whole heartedly that people that have no background in social activism should be our leaders and voices in these protests against injustice.  Yes, I understand the fact that they have a powerful voice and can bring attention to the situation, However, these riots do have attention, the riots in Baltimore are all over the news and social media, so you aren't looking for a voice, you are looking for a leader, and if  I was an entertainer I would be reluctant to step up into that position. Especially if I spent my life trying to give the public my gift of song, dance,  etc.  Entertainers speaking up is not the issue,  our expectations for an artist is extremely too high, you expect these people to be Malcolm X and Dr. Martin Luther King.  Do y'all understand that those men were not entertainers, they were activists that lead conscious individuals in demonstrations to make major changes in the United States.  Stop asking what Jay-z , Kanye, J. Cole or another entertainer can say on this situation and get up and go to community town hall meetings and get to know who are the leaders in your community that can and will help form an organized demonstration that can bring forth change within the communities that are being affected by police brutality.  Our leaders are here, we have to help them help us.
This is what you are interested in hearing from your entertainers?

Misplaced Anger

Have you ever been in a situation where someone close to you angers you, in response you lashed out at coworkers,  classmates and/or random people on the streets? What does this behavior remind you of? Certain few officers are the source of the anger,  why are you lashing out on to others and not the source of the issue?  It's a very emotional and childish response and very well could be the reason your beloved artists are not speaking up and being the voice of the movement. I'm not condemning violence or supporting,  I just believe there are certain routes that we haven't tried and violence should be the last resort. Stop giving innocent policemen overtime pay.


Looting, destruction of property.

How do these things help the cause?  The place that is being looted,  did they harbor the police officers that are killing black men? How about those buildings,  is that the home of the officer who killed the unarmed black man? All of this just reminds me of an emotional woman in an argument and she decides to break things in the home to deal with her frustrations.  I will repeat,  organized reaction is the key,  u burn a building and now a person has an insurance claim and will be paid a lump sum for the the business they owned.  Pointless destruction,  without getting into tactics,(don't want the government to think I am a leader of terrorism ) focus all this behavior on the source and stop lashing out uncontrollably.

Do the right thing

I have pointed out some things I believe we are doing wrong in our stance against police brutality. Here's a list of the things I think are positive and proactive to the cause:
1) Unity within the culture.
2) Mobilized protesting.
3) Social Media first hand accounts of the activity.
4) Social media challenging and correcting news reports.
5) Showing our government we will not stand around quietly while unarmed black American           citizens are being murdered with out reasonable cause.


Lauren's Take :

It's actually funny that Endi calls me a hippie and the stance I am taking on the current state of America. It is a lot of misplaced anger but no one cares we are angry so what else does America expect. Baltimore is pretty much our second home and not only am I angry but fed up with injustices in Ferguson, and Long Island, and Cleveland, and Sanford and any other city in the US. It’s evident that no one is really listening or even cares to understand. But why is that?

The media has a way of spinning everything to where it discredits the disenfranchised into making them the initial problem. When I saw Ferguson going down I witnessed through social media sites just how they used a small group, discredit the cause by playing it on a loop. Even understanding how Baltimore operates, I pretty much predicted how they would discredit the Baltimore protesters to the country. The media didn't show the peaceful march for 3 miles until it reached the Inner Harbor. They only showed the aftermath when heckling Orioles fans who were inconvenienced provoked the crowd with racial slurs. The media isn't telling you that they scared the public with a "credible threat" Monday morning that the gangs united to kill off the police. Thus causing the Maryland Transit Authority to shut down just when high school let out. The media isn't telling you that this is how these kids get home now all these teenagers are stranded and met with officers dressed in riot gear in an already tense environment. I didn't see gang members taking out police I seen teenagers on the news. I am not even asking anyone to take my word for it go search videos on You Tube and any other form of out there. There is so much information out there for anyone to be ignorant on these issues.

Yes, we need leadership and organization but also need to realize how the system works. I may be called a conspiracy theorist but somehow they twisted the story to lessen the death of a black man, AGAIN. I am not saying violence or even nonviolence but whatever works. Stay Woke!

Thanks for reading
Contact us:
Email: Ratchetsophistication@gmail.com
Twitter : Endi - @Abruptndemandin
.              Lauren - @TheLaurenWay



What they aren't showing on the news: